I am a happy mom. But sometimes I don’t feel happy. Sometimes I feel grumpy. Other times I feel sad. Or frustrated. I also feel unbelievably tired at times. Oh, and I feel lazy sometimes too. Some days I feel so overwhelmed. Other days I feel unappreciated too.

I know I’m not alone.

My brain is working in overtime: Always thinking about what needs to be done, making mental to-do lists while doing other things. There are too many things to get done:

My mom needs me

My dad needs me

My daughter needs me

My son needs me

My husband needs me

My friends need me

My students need me

So what do I do to stay sane, and most importantly, happy?

Mindset

I truly believe that I can do and be anything! Every day I tell myself it will happen, I will reach my goals, and my beliefs are my reality. It is not a matter of “if,” but rather “when.” Saying my affirmations in the morning and seeing them written in my planner helps me to remember my worth and my purpose. Having a positive mindset helps me to be happy.

Priority

I recognize that those who need me are those I want to serve and spend time with. Whenever I find myself getting super annoyed with my kids or my husband, that sets an alarm off in my head that says “slow down and do less.” These are my people. These are the ones I love the most in the whole wide world. If I’m feeling too overwhelmed or tired to make time for them, then I need to make adjustments. I recognize that I will never get this time back. I already have two adult children and boy do I wish I could go back in time. Over the past year, I’ve learned to be deliberate with my time. I’ve learned two important skills: delegation and saying “no.” When my priorities are in order, I end up devoting proportionate time to my top priorities. My grumpiness and tiredness subside when my daughter says, “mommy, please braid my hair” or my son says, “mom, could you please help me with my homework?” By recognizing my top priorities, I am able to happily devote my time to them.

Find joy in service

The best cure for unhappiness is service. There’s no possible way to feel grumpy or sad when I am serving others. Seeing people smile, lifting someone else’s burden, and helping others in any way leads to a feeling of joy. Serving others also helps me to distinguish between needs and wants. Service can occur outside and inside of the home. If I am extremely frustrated with one of my family members, I seek ways to serve him or her. This usually leads to a softened heart and happiness all around. The key is to give with no expectation of anything in return.

Ask

This action has taken me the longest to develop. I have learned to ask for what I need. Whether it be attention, affection, some time to rest, time to myself, help with household tasks, or private time with an individual, I ask for it. Like my husband says, “I am not I mind reader,” so speak up. I use to keep everything bottled up inside while letting my frustration, exhaustion, and overwhelm boil. I felt unappreciated and overworked. Then I learned to ask for help. Asking for help eliminates miscommunication and invites a feeling of love. I also learned to delegate. I let go of my “if you want something done, do it yourself” mentality. By giving others a chance to act and do, I felt relief and calmness.

Plan

I am a planner. Following a plan keeps me sane. When I have a plan, things are more orderly and less chaotic. Plans also benefit children. They help a child know what will come next, such as “washing their hands before dinner” or “holding your hand while crossing the road.” Following through with a plan gives me a sense of accomplishment. Even though I use Google Calendar and set reminders on my iPhone, I still use a hard copy planner. I enjoy project planning, goal planning, and even budget planning. Using colorful pens and checking things off my to-do list makes me happy. I feel so positive and excited when I’m writing things down in my planner.

Self-Care

My main goal as the creator of the Happy Moms Community is to help moms realize their worth. Self-care is one of my main priorities. I cannot feel sad or grumpy or unappreciated when I feel good about myself. To me, self-care means taking care of myself physically, emotionally, mentally, and socially. Regular physical activity boosts my confidence. Over the years I have challenged myself by completing marathons and participating in challenging boot camps. I have met some of my closest friends in my fitness environment. Self-care also includes individual time with my husband and each of my children, as well as girl time with friends.  Also, continual learning is a big part of taking care of myself. I believe in asking for help as well as hiring help. If I have to pay for a tutor or a sitter or an online coach to teach me how to declutter, then I consider it well worth it because I’ll be keeping my sanity. I also need “me” time in which I either get my nails done, get a massage, or take a walk on the beach. Everyone has different personal care activities that they enjoy, but you need to make it a habit. Putting priority on regular self-care leads to increased self-confidence, less overwhelm, and overall happiness.

Gratitude

Having gratitude causes a feeling of contentment and appreciation for what you have. When you deliberately recognize the positive things in your life, it’s really impossible to feel sad or angry. Making a conscious choice to recognize the good in your life will improve your mood. I am a strong believer in having a gratitude journal. Also, whenever life throws a curveball at me, I make a mental list of things I am thankful for. Gratitude is the solution to unhappiness.

I hope that these seven points will help you become a Happy Mom. I know we all experience an array of emotions. And at times being a mom can be overwhelming and frustrating, or even unbearable. But with a positive mindset, knowing who or what to give my time to, serving others, asking for help, taking care of myself, and having an attitude of gratitude, being a mom can be the greatest blessing of all. This is why I am a Happy Mom!