Crossing the line between privacy and snooping- Is it ever okay?

So you suspect your teen may be doing something you disapprove of… do you read their texts when they are in the shower? Do you read their journal? Do you bribe their siblings for information?

In my experience and with hindsight I must answer with a resounding NO!

Do not snoop on your teen. When trust is lost, it is very hard to earn back. Especially from a teen. I know what you're thinking: you love your child and want to protect them. If you suspect your teen may be in trouble or engaging in dangerous behavior, you want to know answers. Talking about these things may be hard, but the only solution is to come out and ask him/her. Assure your teen that your main concern is their safety and reassure them that their honesty will not be met with punishment.

The cold hard fact is you will not raise a teen without having some sort of issue with privacy. It's the most painful thing to go from having a young child who talks your ear off about his day to having a teen who comes home from school, goes straight into his room and puts earphones on. When children hit that teen age, they automatically feel like they deserve more freedom.

So, how can you ease the inevitable privacy conflict between you and your teen?
Keep the lines of communication open
Express love daily
Do not parent in a totalitarian manner
Model respect and trust with your children and your partner
Let your teen know you will always be there for him/her

Also, when and if your teen does confide in you, do not blab to your partner or your other children. Unless your teen is harming herself, or others, keep her trust. Show them respect at all times, and they will be more inclined to show you respect by sharing their life with you and not giving you a reason to snoop.

Happily Yours,
Mahele