Are You Forgetting a Key Ingredient to Happiness?

      Let’s just get to the point- Having sex regularly will help you be a Happy Mom. It is ultimately about the fact that sex deepens the bond in a relationship. It creates intimacy, trust, and pleasure. Sex has many positive physical and emotional benefits. When you understand these benefits, you will open yourself to deeper happiness.    

      I know what you’re thinking. You’re a working mom, you shuffle the kids around to various activities, cook dinner, take care of the home, and you’re just too darn tired for sex. Your partner presses you for sex, but you literally are so exhausted that the moment your body touches your bed, you’re out cold. And as this continues day after day, week after week, intimacy within the relationship is lost. You become two people united for the purpose of taking care of children, but the bond and pleasure disappear.

      Physically, an active sex life may yield many benefits, including a youthful appearance due to the fact that when you are having sex regularly, you feel good about yourself, more confident, so you naturally end up taking better care of yourself. Studies show that sexual activity burns calories and fat, but can also cause people to live more healthy lifestyles in general. People who have sex regularly were found to have higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A (IgA), which, according to researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania, combat disease and keep the body safe from colds and the flu. Sex helps us sleep easier, and through better sleep, sex creates a stronger immune system. Oxytocin is released during orgasm, which promotes a more restful sleep for both individuals. Oxytocin benefits other areas of the body as well. Increased levels to the brain decrease heart problems in men and women. It can help with pain control, according to a study conducted at the Headache Clinic at Southern Illinois University. The study found that half of female migraine sufferers reported relief after climaxing. Many other types of pain have also been shown to decrease.

      For women, there are many benefits to having frequent sex, such as experiencing lighter periods with fewer cramps. When the uterus contracts it rids the body of cramp-causing compounds and can expel blood and tissue more quickly, helping to end your period faster. Sex will also lower blood pressure and increase bladder control, which is important for women after giving birth. Orgasm is linked to a decrease in prostate cancer for men and protection against endometriosis for women. Orgasms also release endorphins and these hormones activate pleasure centers in the brain that create feelings of intimacy and relaxation and stave off depression.

      I have many married friends who do not have sex regularly and have lost intimacy within their marriage. Also, I have many divorced friends who lost intimacy in their marriage. There are many many factors that lead to divorce, and that’s a whole other subject that I won’t get into now.

      I just know that when a couple has sex regularly it increases intimacy and kindness towards one another. I also know that not having sex regularly increases grumpiness in one or both of the partners. Trust me I know what tired and busy is. If you’ve checked out my About Me section, you know that I have five very active children. I have a few jobs, I serve in my community, and I make time for myself. I’m not saying this to boast, I’m just saying that by the end of the day I am exhausted!

      Thank goodness I have a husband who shares in all parenting responsibilities. ALL!!! I would venture to say he does more than I do. Well, maybe we do an equal amount. But my point is that I believe he wants to make me happy and he hates when I’m upset or sad. We definitely have that intimacy and a very strong bond. And it’s because we have sex regularly. We are kind to each other. We share kisses and flirting throughout the day. We want to make each other happy. Sex goes hand in hand with affection. Affection precedes sex and it also follows sex. I don’t know about you, but I do know that I appreciate affection. I appreciate it when my husband does something nice for me, such as fold and put away my clothes, or refill the water cup that I leave at my bedside. I feel good about myself when my husband compliments me. Self-confidence makes me feel ready to take on whatever life throws at me each day.

      I have heard every reason in the book from friends who do not have sex with their partner. But it is an integral part of a relationship. And the statistics are there, sex helps overall health, both physical and emotional. Nighttime sex helps you sleep better. Morning sex makes you feel ready to take on the world. Lunchtime sex introduces excitement into your life and helps you tackle the rest of the day. Being tired is not an excuse to deny yourself or your partner pleasure and happiness. If you’ve lost that initial intimacy, it’s not too late. Treat your partner with love and kindness. Make time for each other. There’s no denying that sex is a big part of a relationship, especially a marriage. Enjoy your relationship to it’s fullest.